I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
