I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
