Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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