He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize