We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
