hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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