so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
