coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
