First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
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They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
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Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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