Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize