You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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