If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize