And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
