your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
