Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
