just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
