After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize