i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
