Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize