He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
