I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
