don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
