I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
