I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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