She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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