So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
