You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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