We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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