i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
