just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If I die, sorry about rent.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
