Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
