big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
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im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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