i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
