I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
