This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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