goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
