so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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