how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
