Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
