I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
