Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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