We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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