Kiss
Puke
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize