Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
