I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
