On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize