we're chasing vodka with high fives
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
