i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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