Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Vodka?
Forever.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
