so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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