Having a random hookup so left but love u
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
