I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
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I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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