Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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