it wasn't lemon gatorade
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize