Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
