Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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