the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
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