As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
