I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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