omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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