i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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