New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This baby is an asshole
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
