My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you have to choose: penises or morals?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
