he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
