Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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